Never leave me
by candy-lace
Summary: Jensen and Jess, Jess needs helpIs Jensen the only one who can give that to her?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in our beloved supernatural. But I do own Jess Aston…**

**Oh by the way, this is almost a totally different Dean. He's more sensitive.**

**Chapter one**

She pushed him backwards using all of her strength, she kept going no matter how hard it was to hurt him, she wanted to hurt something so bad but through all the tears she just stopped pushing and hitting and fell against his chest sobbing softly.

He put his arms around her, trying to console her.

"Jess, Jess its ok, what's wrong? What happened?" He asked, still holding her against his chest which was now soaked with salty tears.

"I can't, I just can't…I won't!" She whispered. Her body suddenly went rigid and she pulled away from him. She stood, inches away from him but kept her eyes on the ground.

"Jess, what's wrong? Why are you like this?" His voice, his whole attitude was concerned.

She turned slowly, walking away quickly. He ran after her, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around to face him.

"Jess, you can tell me. Now what's wrong?" He asked her softly.

She seemed angry now, though she had no reason to be. She pushed up the sleeves of her ebony jacket, revealing the crimson lines of hate that she had left upon her left wrist.

She thrust her arm in his face. "You see?! You see!" She began crying again but this time she ran. Away from the man she loved, away from the world she hated.

He ran after her. "No! Jess! Stop, what are you doing?!" He stopped as he saw her on the side of the bridge.

"Come closer and I'll do it!" She screamed.

He ran to her and pulled her back off the side of the bridge, he pinned her down on the sidewalk before she could fight him.

"Please, let me do it, please…" she whispered into her ear as he held her down. Dean pulled his head back to watch her face.

"No Jess, I can't do that." He whispered back.

"Please?!" she screamed and struggled out of his grasp, standing up; she backed away from him slowly. Jess stumbled and fell backwards; though she never got up she lay on her side.

He leant down beside her, no longer needing to hold her small figure down.

"Don't leave me." She whispered before falling unconscious on the solid ground. Jensen bent down to pick her up.

He walked slowly down the dark pathway, holding her close to his chest.

"I'll never leave you." He whispered to the unconscious figure in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jess awoke from her stupor to find herself in Dean's room. How boyish it was, blue with dirty clothes on the floor, posters of women above his desk, the list goes on.

She peeled the covers away slowly, looking down she realised that someone had changed her. As she stood up she gazed at the long grey t-shirt and blue boxer shorts that covered her.

"He changed me?!" She wondered incredulously. "Shit….he would have seen the other scars!" She said out loud, sitting back down on the warm bed with her head in her hands.

Suddenly the wooden door on the other side of the room flew open, Dean walked out from the small ensuite casually, in nothing but a pair of boxer. Jess's head snapped up looking at him for a moment. Looking at his perfectly formed chest. She averted her eyes, breathing heavily.

"Hi." She realised that she was whispering. Also ashamed of how she had acted.

"Morning." He replied, his voice unintentionally seductive. Well to her anyway.

Jensen was picking up clothes from the floor while she watched him, almost fearful of the consequences of her actions. She surrendered immediately.

"Dean, I'm…uhhh…I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for…" She was cut off by his hand on her lips.

"Don't be sorry." He whispered, his face was strong, no emotion lied there. For the moment.

He sat down next to her, so close that they were touching. She leaned her head against his bare chest and he put his arms around her. Small tears rolled down onto his skin.

"I'm sorry." Was all she said as he held her. She said it over and over, more trying to convince herself than the one she loved.

Pulling away she looked up into his eyes. "You changed me." She accused.

Humour danced in his striking russet eyes. "Yes, I couldn't leave you in dirt stained clothes could I?" He replied honestly.

"I…ummm…You didn't…see anything…did you?" She whispered embarrassedly.

"Yes, I saw the scars, but I lingered on nothing if that's what you want to know. I respect you. And you privacy." He said kindly, wanting her to know how much she was loved.

Breathing in slowly, she nodded.

"Here." He handed Jess a pile of clean clothes. "Your father brought them over last night, but he said not to wake you. So I let you sleep."

As she walked over to the bathroom, she stalled.

"Dean?" She asked.

"Yeah" he replied turning back to her.

"I…thank-you. For everything. I need you." She whispered, loud enough for him to hear.

Jess nodded at her own words and shut the door behind herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Jess? Are you decent?" Dean said from outside his closed bedroom door.

"Almost" she yelled from his bathroom, her voice seemed fragile, almost rushed and she knew that it would not go unnoticed.

"Ok!" she yelled before flopping down on his bed.

Dean opened the door carefully before stepping inside. "Breakfast is ready m'lady." He said and bowed, smirking as he rose.

It did the job. Jess laughed as Dean held out his hand for her. Taking his hand hesitantly he looked down into her blue eyes. She smiled up at him. He led her downstairs to the kitchen.

On the neat circular kitchen table, there was a pile of pancakes and a small cup of juice. Dean just smiled at her as she sat down on the bound leather chair.

"Eat." He said quietly, walking away from her to the other side of the table.

"Thank-you." She replied, barely audible.

He nodded in response before resting his elbows on the table to watch her. As she finished she rose to put the plate in the sink. He slowly walked over to her and placed his arms either side of her on the bench top.

"Jess, I want to know what happened yesterday." Dean said simply.

"I…" She trailed off, distracted by his closeness. "I can't tell you that…"

"Jess?" He said louder.

The confusion in Jess's eyes was visible but Dean didn't back down.

"I…was confused." She stated simply.

Dean leaned in closer so that he was inches away from her face, leaving her no chance to escape his questioning.

"On?" He pushed.

"On…the subject of me." She breathed; wondering if that was the right way to put it.

Dean could see that he was breaking down that outer shell that she had so carefully crafted over many years. He was the only person that could get through to her that way.

"Dean, you know my past. It's all finally catching up and I couldn't hold everything in anymore." She said softly, her cerulean glistening as she looked up to his deeply concerned ones.

Dean went to pull her into a hug which she refused by shifting as if to say not yet.

"I thought that maybe if I wasn't here anymore, the world would be a better place. But then I ran into you. And I almost decided right there and then that I shouldn't because I couldn't just leave you." By the time Jess had got this out she realised that she had been whispering.

Dean watched her carefully, his brow knitting together in response.

"Jess," He said slowly, deliberately. "I think that you need to see someone. A specialist perhaps." He said watching her eyes as they widened in fear.

"No, I don't need to do thatDean. I'm fine, really I am." She said, her voice betraying her false happiness.

Dean moved back slowly before reaching for her wrist. Jess attempted to pull it away but was unsuccessful. He flipped her wrist up so that they could both see what she had done.

The deep crimson lines were as visible as ever on her pale skin, she looked blankly at the floor next to Jensen, not wanting to face reality.

"Jess look, now." He said; his voice surprisingly louder and more angered than before.

"Don't try to pretend it's not there Jessica. You did it. You're the one who left this on your arm. You can't push it away anymore, it's already out there." He said kindly yet forcefully, pushing her wrist up to her face.

Jess looked at her wrist in disgust, feebly pulling it away from Dean's sturdy hand.

"No…no…I didn't do that…no…" She said while shaking her head. Putting her hands on the bench behind her to lean on them.

Dean placed his hands on her shoulders as she looked up at him weakly, her wall of protection falling away. She kept shaking her head as minute tears grew into larger ones that rolled down her cheeks.

"Jess, it's ok. Everything's going to be ok." He said sympathetically.

She started, hearing a key in the front door. Suddenly she had dashed up to his room, for the fear that someone might see her like this. Dean sighed, racing up the stairs after her.


	4. Chapter 4

Jess was all smiles as Dean opened the door to his bedroom. She sat there on his bed holding her clothes from the night before.

"Jess? What are you doing?" He asked her cautiously.

"Oh, ummm. I need to go home; I'll be back later, if that's ok?" She said, standing up and looking at him hopefully.

Dean nodded. "Of course it's ok. Do you want me to come with you?" He asked carefully, stepping closer to her.

"No! I mean, I'm coming back later anyway so, don't worry." She said, forcing her lips into a small smile.

Jess leant up to kiss him softly on the cheek before walking out of his room. Dean stayed where he was, flopping down on his bed when he heard the front door slam.

She opened the door to her home slowly, before creeping up the stairs to her own room. Placing her dirty clothes in the basket, she moved towards her window, watching the clouds.

"Jess?" Came the sound of her Dad's voice from outside her door.

"Uh…Yeah?" She yelled back, frantically wiping her tears away.

The door opened and in stepped her Dad, he held a small white card in his hand. Walking to her he held it out. A small name and signature was written on it, slowly taking it she turned it over. 'Appointment at 1:10pm, room 4.' She looked up, terror plastered on her gentle features.

"What?! No! Dad, I don't need this, I'm fine." She said, horrified.

"Get changed Jessica; we are going in 5 minutes." He said, slamming the door behind him on his way out, leaving Jess standing alone with the small white card in her shaking hands.

"Shit." She breathed before changing into a black skirt and blue sweater. She walked downstairs as she fixed her hair.

Her dad was silent for the whole journey; even in the waiting room he said nothing. When her name was called he just looked at her as she stood and followed the lady into room 4.

She stood in the doorway as the lady sat behind her mahogany desk.

"You can sit over here Jessica." She pointed to a chair opposite her desk.

Jess walked slowly over to the leather chair, sitting on the edge of it as though it might break. She looked up cautiously.

"Now Jess, What would you like to talk about first?" She asked kindly.

"I have nothing to talk about." Jess replied keeping her guard up from her prying eyes.

"Ok, what if we start with the cuts on your arm. Do you know why you did them?" She asked insistently.

"There are no cuts on my arm. And I don't need any help from you or from anyone else." She replied icily.

"That's ok Jess, I just want to talk to you, just about your life in general. Is that ok with you?" Her kind voice unnerved Jess. She was too nice.

"No, that's not ok. This was not my idea, this is my fathers." She said, her voice getting louder and more desperate.

"Self harm is no way to deal with your problems; you can get help from……" She was cut off by Jess.

"I am not self harming! I don't have any problems! Why can you not understand that?!" She yelled standing up suddenly. Realising what she was doing, Jess sat back down slowly, keeping her tear filled eyes on the delicate engravings on the desk.

"Would you like to come back another day? When your feeling a bit more relaxed?" She asked, using the same kind voice that she had used throughout the session.

"No thank-you. Can I go now?" Jess whispered.

"Come back in three days, I would like to see you again." She said standing up and walking over to open the door for Jess.

Jess got up and quickly walked out of the warm room, through the waiting room and to her Dad and Dean, who had arrived just after she had gone in.

"Traitor!" She hissed as she saw Dean. "So you were in on this?" She snarled at him before pushing him. "Why?" Hey eyes held his as she waited for his reply.


End file.
